Isn’t falling in love the greatest thing that can happen to me?
No, it’s not. That’s what romantic movies tell you – if you fall in love you will be the happiest person on the planet. So you try to be Cinderella looking for Prince Charming. You believe all your problems will disappear once you fall in love. You believe you will never feel lonely again. You believe you will find the meaning of life in another person. You believe you will find yourself by losing yourself in another person.
Nothing can be further away from the truth. When you fall, you just land on your face. There is nothing romantic or good about falling in love. You become unbalanced, obsessed and fixated on this one person. The rest of the world disappears and you disappear in the process as well. It’s the same as using drugs, you feel high and addicted. If you keep at it, you will deplete yourself or the person who is receiving your love. Then you will burn out and have withdrawal symptoms.
Stand on the ground. Be in your power. Love from there. It cannot be robotic.
It does not matter if you are a man or a woman. You have to be in your power. You have to be connected to yourself. You have to be connected to the Earth and the Universe and you have to be in oneness with all that is. From this place you can love another person and have something greater than you already have. But only if you are cantered and balanced to begin with. If you feel like you are losing yourself in another person, take a step back. Spend some lone time in nature, connect to the core of the Earth and to yourself. Then meet the person you chose to be with again and notice you are no longer trying to be his other half. You are perfectly whole, connecting with another being who is (hopefully) whole too.
Relationships that last and create a sense of peace require both people to be centred, stable and balanced. Connecting from this place will create mutual respect and gratitude. When you have sex from “falling in love” it is a way of disconnecting from reality, losing yourself or creating a chemical dependency that makes your life a roller-coaster. When you connect with your lover from a place of being in your power, sex will nurture you emotionally, physically and spiritually.
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